The reason we pose it is because so many spouses are in the position of going to church without their spouse. Her first allegiance is to God and His truth. I’m not of that cult religion. Saturday," says Jennifer, "so often Sunday is our only day together. She served without a spouse by her side. hasn't gone to church--with or without her preschool children--since she has Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The husband has the right to stop her going out to the church. Leadership doesn't require that you be smarter or more spiritual than your wife. However, I had the hunch then, and know certainly now he was not doing those things for himself, but rather for me. Keep praying for your husband. I know there is growth, and I know that he loves God and knows Jesus as his savior. “One Sunday morning I realized that my six-year- old had never been to church or Sunday school,” she said. "He came to the Easter service with me, and has been coming most Sunday's That’s why … 178 responses to “If you go to church without your spouse, how do you deal with unmet expectations?”. I have a terrible fear of being the mom in church with two plus kids while her husband is nowhere in sight. In the evenings I am now telling him I am praying and if he wants to join me and he is joining me. Guess which wins out? She sat in the pew all alone. there aren't any verses in the bible that read that a husband and wife should go to church together. church," comments Melissa who has been married less than two years, "he get's Connie and Tim have never been When it comes to husband/wife relations, many people in the church believe there are only two potential choices: either a woman obeys her husband’s every wish or she dishonors him and is guilty of sin. Repent for hastily reacting…forgive, go back. And now, the 96-year-old father of 10, has a new title: great-great-grandfather. Hi. (From the Joyfulheart.com article, “Should Wives Go To Church Without Their Husbands?”). He brings up God and his faith- walk more and more and shares with me how he feels so much less stress in stressful work situations than he used to when he prays about it. I love and admire this about my husband. I felt I had been unjustly turned on. I don’t let him see the tears as I drive to church week after week alone, sit alone, and sometimes feel more alone than I should in the house of God. been attending church ever since. The general answer to your question is, “No, the wife should attend church together with her husband.” However, there are some exceptions. Realize that the spiritual walk involves spiritual things. He is setting forth what a marriagereally ought to be, as the husband pictures Christ and as the wife pictures the church. Just over ten years ago I had a problem with the then worship leader. I knew when I met him that he was a believer in Christ and that most of our Christian values aligned. But maybe a wife could get that husband into an office where a guy would just explain something simple like this to her husband. I’m not saying I still don’t have those … He was raised Catholic though his parents seldom In my family’s instance, my parents became a united front and my mom converted to Lutheranism and she has always said it was one of the best decisions she made in her entire life. It’s also common for the children of such a couple to be divided between the two churches, thereby creating a rift in the family that is never healthy. vs. family events. Their real names are not used. I have been going to church without my spouse for 19 years but I am still believing for his salvation. Here are the differences I over looked. One husband may view the time their wife is away at church as simply a social outing, and a chance for him to have some alone time or engage in a hobby, while another may feel threatened, and that his wife is choosing church over spending time with him, or even is looking for a “better” husband at church. I have stopped trying to make him come to church with us (my children and I). upset. You can purchase one of Dr. Wilson's complete Bible studies in PDF, Kindle, or paperback format. But for the Thousands of wives stay home year after year Often it isn't until some crisis strikes that they will look He said: He should not give her permission to go out to Christian festivals or churches. seriously for a church. Praying for your husband to surrender his life and heart to Christ - get the help he needs to walk…, Praying for blessings of peace, comfort and healing as you all continue to grow in your relationship with Christ. As an Amazon Associate we (Marriage Missions) earn fees from qualifying purchases. “I know I can’t give her my faith, but I am responsible to help her learn about Jesus so she’ll be able to develop her own faith as she grows. (From the Spirituallyunequallyyokedmarriage.com article, “Going to Church Alone”). says, "he accuses me of not wanting the children to grow up Catholic. (From the Blackandmarriedwithkids.com article, “5 Things To Do If Your Spouse Won’t Come To Church”). I have stopped inviting him because each time I do I keep getting the same answer “no” or “my time has not yet come”. I ask once, and accept whatever excuse he has, from I need to catch up on my sleep, I have work that just can’t wait, etc. For the first several years we went to church together regularly. My husband wants me to go to cult church. I know what it says in the Bible about the husband being the head and that a husband and wife are as one, but I am here to tell you that it is okay to go to church without your spouse, or a church that is different from your spouse’s church. I'd like to encourage you to take that for myself.". Do not put this on a website. All rights reserved. We encourage you to read: Now, once again, the question we’re posing. I only asked privately we should pray before we practice worship; that’s when I was turned on, so I lifted my keyboard and walked out. Give your relationship priority. proper perspective in my life, I think I'm a better wife, and I know I'm happier plan activities as a family. When a husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25—33), then submission is a natural response from a wife to her husband. This is rebellion on the part of the wife. Jim would never follow. Mom and church-going sister don’t approve of her non-church going ways, and made it extremely clear that they were disappointed that couple didn’t go to church every week. He supports this, though he doesn’t approve of the lower salary I receive and the extra hours I spend working. Learn about how we should treat our spouses according to the word of the Bible and Jesus . A perfect example is church attendance. Holman Christian Standard Bible And if they want to learn something, they should ask their own husbands at home, for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church … in church," says a wife we'll call Mary*. alongside other adults without distraction. The affair started across the room in a Sunday school class when the pastor’s wife received a text from a handsome member of the congregation. My husband told me, “My dad feels church is a hoax. Carol found that life smoothed out for her. I also am a Lutheran school teacher and have been almost the entire time I have known my husband. step, even if your husband doesn't want to come with you right now. Or for a husband … I told my husband I will go with him to ‘his’ church, but he still refuses. within myself! Thanks for sharing this. It is important to realize that here in Ephesians chapter 5 Paul is presenting theideal of Christian marriage, that is Christian marriage as God intended it to be. A fourth problem is Marital Strife. What a delight to read it! I am a very stubborn person; my husband lovingly tells me that all the time. My spiritual mismatched allowed me to see many others who don’t fit in. On a happy note, I have seen growth in my husband’s faith since I met him. This is a simple question posed, for a very important reason. I know of numerous Baptist pastors who teach that a wife should go to church, even if her husband says "no." Not only will it help them grow closer to each other and to God, but it will help their children learn about Jesus. This is shown in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11: “To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband). Here a Nouthetic Counselor or a … I am working on wanting a marriage where arguments are fair and not one sided. It is a disgraceful thing for a woman to speak in a church meeting. To rob her of a knowledge of God would be even worse than The fruit of her labors. As my little Kindergartners remind me each day with our school theme this year, “Our God is an Awesome God!”. But there are a number of good reasons why women are beginning to show up at church without their husbands. There are several scriptures that must be considered. “My husband is a womaniser, he sleeps with church members,’’ a 49-year-old evangelist, Chinwe Ekwe, told an Igando Customary Court on Monday in Lagos. But if we do approach our husbands – it must be in a spirit of great humility, respect, prayer and the love of the Spirit of Christ. And my friends, churches are filled with these kinds of people who pretend their marriage is perfect. I understand that God put us together; need help, Colin. What's been keeping you away from church? During the worship service, children Lisa's A wife has to submit to her husband in all cases except where it violates the higher authority of God. It turns out they had been looking for friends, too. It is through a lot of prayer and support from my close friends. Now, I’m not saying we should blindly serve at church without giving a second thought to how it might impact our lives, marriages, and children. This is something to prayerfully consider. We can’t expect to be the same person we were in our 20’s, and we don’t really think our spouses will go unchanged either. This is what one wife is dealing with in her marriage. When my husband and I met, I was not a faithful church goer. And my husband not only doesn’t come to church with me but he practices another religion. He says he’s the man and I should follow him. We need to let God deal with His children and get out of the way. And your spouse had to accept that and maybe he or she will be drawn by your spirit. When I was growing up, my father never went to church except if we kids were in a program. She was brought up Methodist. "I had to do it Carol Most of the time, however, differences in church choices are not that extreme. since--except for Superbowl Sunday, of course, and the weekends he goes hunting. responsible to help her learn about Jesus so she'll be able to develop her own Because when you’ve exhausted all your options and handed it to God, that’s when you realize He has been at work all along. No one could take that step for me," she adds. "Jim has to work every other So Connie God is restoring my marriage but still he wants what he wants to do because I always do things my way. Most of the time, however, differences in church choices are not that extreme. I want to grow in my walk with God. Mary is still waiting. And don’t lose hope when it seems like nothing is happening. It’s likely your training here at SUM and through the Word will allow you to speak love and truth into some other misfit who is sitting in the sanctuary. I think in my mind it was my way of telling him, this is what you get with me and it is not changing because my faith, my God, and church are a very important part of my life. God is all around us. By following his his wife on such an important spiritual decision, it almost seems like he's abdicating his leadership role before the marriage even began. If a husband and wife attend different churches, it must be that 1) one of the churches is not a Bible-believing church and one of them does not want to go there for that reason, or 2) one (or both) of them does not … I don't All three of her children walk with the Lord as a result. Sure, they love God – but in their hearts, there’s a huge disconnect between God and their church. Additionally, here is a link to an article that will lead you to even more advice that you may find to be helpful. faith as she grows. When my husband and I met, I was not a faithful church goer. * Conversations recorded here are compiled from many women's And it's been wonderful. past three autumns Jim has been quite happy encamped in front of the TV watching should have done this years ago!". So we’re asking you, if you go to church without your spouse, what helps you? The text was a simple, “What a pretty dress, you look beautiful today.” This compliment brought something alive in her she hadn’t experienced in a long time. Discipleship Training in Luke's Gospel. But his Italian mother would have a fit!" If a husband is “leading” his wife and family into churches or practices that are heretical or cultic, of course, the wife has to put her spiritual foot down and refuse to participate. The struggle is real. But is that correct? Thank you for sharing I have been praying for my husband for 25yrs now. Or for a husband … The word says that as the unbeliever accepts the believers faith he will be be sanctified through the believer so it is awkward not having a spouse with me at church; but as a child of God I can’t let anything ever separate me from the love of God. One, I’m not the only one. I know however, that God is a powerful God and nothing is impossible with God. Every marriage, including your pastor’s will struggle, even greatly struggle at some point. Let’s be honest…I was not a faithful follower of Jesus. Susan found that her husband Terry began to join her at church after she had I have been standing and praying for almost 25 years now. But sometimes your guy might be resistant to your efforts. There is no exception to this and 1 Peter 3:1 further bolsters this universal Godly truth by telling wives that even in the case of their husband not being a Christian, they still need to … So we’re asking you, if you go to church without your spouse, what helps you? Women choose to stay at home with their husbands for a number of good reasons. It’s simply not true. It just how it was, we asked why he didn't go, but that had nothing to … For many, it’s passed down generationally. My husband on the other hand has taken his father’s perspective and I have heard many times a similar outlook to the way he describes his father’s faith. When we were dating I was probably a little too intense about imposing my faith beliefs on him, and telling him this is what I believe and this is what I think is important. This, as well as the puppy love stage I was in (and honestly still am in if I’m being 100 percent honest), caused me to overlook some differences that now are forcing me to let go and let God take the lead, because I cannot carry the burden on myself anymore. Sister who doesn’t go to church every week has a kid, and dropped off little girl to Mom and other sister for babysitting when both she and husband had to work. 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Learn about how we should treat our spouses according to the word of the Bible and Jesus impossible! If that husband into an office where a guy would just explain simple... Wife should go to church without their husbands out of the wife pictures the church Discipleship in! Met, I ’ m not the only one dear Dr. David: my husband and praise... Is welcome to join me fees from qualifying purchases does not mean a wife, but now and it.! ” years now, there is only so much that you be smarter or more spiritual than wife... To read. without their husbands at home in sight of the time, however, so he supports and. Rob her of a knowledge of God would be even worse than robbing her the...