He asks a sailor to get him his red shirt. The two look at the Delta Force and expect him to pipe up, but he just stares at the fire, stirring the coals with his penis. A Navy officer was walking through the crew’s quarters of his ship one day and chanced upon a sailor reading a magazine with his feet up on a table. I have to take a course in anchor management. I have to take a course in anchor management. See more ideas about Military humor, Navy jokes, Military memes. the sailor replied. He took with him his life-long pet parrot. Ahoy, small craft. He is on a ship near an island a long way from home, and he knows he will be there a long time. Ask, "what a pirate's favorite letter?" WE ARE SINKING!" When the captain was finally able to catch his breath, he gets back on the loud-hailer and asks, "Just the four of you?" “Captain! Then I heard people were clubbing new ones and I wimped out. You can’t even swim! The rest are already there!". That's why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, "Gringo, we are invading the United States of **, *A Marine walks into a bar and notices a Jar on the counter top with money in it.*. Air Force: "We signed a three-year lease with an option to buy.". Divert your course *immediately*! No college and company he didn’t have contacts. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like. After another thirty minutes the officer comes back and tells the recruit. your own Pins on Pinterest Oct 21, 2020 - Explore Robert barr's board "Navy humor" on Pinterest. You can instantaneously Navy Joke Memes pictures to share on Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest. 40 Marines, plus their LT. 15. He radios the light, commanding, "Turn 10 degrees South to avoid a collision course." After a short while, the Marines report back, "We have destroyed the building." Discover (and save!) Private, get over here!". See more ideas about navy humor, military humor, military memes. Lord was awarded the Navy Cross, the nation’s second highest award for combat bravery, during a ceremony at the Marine Corps Birthday Ball celebration in Vancouver, Washington on November 17. ...there would have been seamen all over him. and lastly, ask "What's a pirate's favorite branch of the military?" So shortly after joining the Navy I was posted to a boat that was about to begin a 6 month sail around the world. The Witch Doctor goes to each of the men and says "I will grant you all one wish, however at the end you will be killed and made a part of my tent. I'm not changing course!" An Army Colonel and a Navy Commodore dressed in ceremonial attire, are taking a pee in the men's room. So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine. He got: Not getting any, better hurry home. (Our first date was the Marine Corps ball in 2016, and the first thing he told her when he heard she was going was "Marines are just in it … Seeing this, the Army guy can't resist taking a snipe and says, 'Didn't the Navy teach you to wash your hands after peeing?' **Civilian**: Negative. A Navy Chief rolls onto base and sees two marines, one is digging a hole and the other marine is filling in a hole behind him. "Oh yeah?" See more ideas about military humor, military memes, military quotes. Many people like to share funny messages, images, jokes, and memes on Veterans Day. Ask, "What's a pirates favorite restaurant?" Were those peace times or war times, I cannot tell... either way it's funny :). A Navy Chief rolls onto base and sees two marines, one is digging a hole and the other marine is filling in a hole behind him. So the can see the old Italian Navy. Ladies, he says, I will accede to your request. For those of you in the Navy, that'll be at eight bells, The Marine General trying to prove his men and women were the most brave said, “watch this” and commanded a nearby Marine Corporal to shoot himself in the head with his sidearm... the Corporal drew his pistol blew his head off and the Marine General said, “See, the Marines are the bravest.”. TIL that you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once. When the aide asks why, he says, "If I get shot, the men won't see it and will keep on fighting." The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy. Updated daily, for more funny memes check our homepage. the first marine says, “those are deer tracks.” second disagrees “them are elk tracks” the third disagrees with both of them”those are moose tracks” they were still arguing when the train hit them. And why wouldn't they? A Commodore in the Navy found himself wrongly accused of trading secrets with the enemy, so he bluffed his way onto a docked submarine and ordered it out to sea so he could wait out the inquest in peace. Find out more ways to make fun of your Jar head friends with some military humor and funny military jokes. The Army will post guards around the place. ", He calls to his aide, "Bring me my red coat!" Where are you headed?" The radio squawked, "No, you are to turn 10 degrees South." And Then She Said. He doesn’t think much of it until lunch when he goes for a walk and sees the two still at and a whole line of freshly dug and filled in holes. The admiral replies, "No, they taught us not to pee on our hands. There once was a man who was in the navy who was very well endowed, but for some reason had a really high pitched voice. It was a young man’s first day on assignment in the Navy, and he was getting toured around the ship, his new home. The radio says back, "Well, you're talking to the lighthouse.". I AM AN ADMIRAL OF THE UNITED STATES NAVY!" A. The light signals back: "Change yours, ten degres west." All the subjects e.g shooting, strategy and tactics get terrible grades except Math which has an A. The admiral finishes peeing, and leaves without washing his hands. Now the captain is furious. We were all in the same boat. There's one last reply. What's your name, sailor?". Ask the Navy to secure a building and they will turn off all the lights and lock all the doors at 1700. In the Navy they just taught us not to pee on our hands.'. The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter. The Navy SEAL says, "I wiped out an entire enemy compound with my K-Bar." Addressing all boat personnel at Pearl Harbor, CINCPAC advised, "The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds for all males. I say again, recommend you change course. ", They are sending message on the radio: "MAY DAY, MAY DAY!! Why did the Queen join the Navy after making herself breakfast in bed? P.S: Benzin= Petrol, but the joke works way better with benzin IMO, I'm a former Army guy and I need some jokes about other branches of the military. "No it's the Navy stupid! 1 and you still can’t trust anything, but there really are 13 funny military memes below this line. Why does the new Italian Navy use glass bottoms in their ships? What has 82 legs and an I.Q. Click here for more information. And for those of you in the Marines, the little hand will be on the four and the big hand will be on the twelve. Usually people get the "Rrrr" Dad: You wanna join the navy? At least the otter knows he's not a seal. Because if zey sink in ze wota, zey will draun. Navy: "We locked the door when we left for the day." The new recruit speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post. In order to pass this test you must go inside and kill them. The smoking lamp is lit, now Reveille!